Question
My father has passed away 3 months ago to be with his creator.According to the post mortem done on him, he had drowned. I know for sure that the last thing he did before leaving this world was fishing, (fishing had become his hobby only since the last few months before his demise) for he did not eat fish. He intended to get as much of fish as possible for his wife and children, for he knew that we all love eating it.
I was told that among the last words of his were that all he went through, all he worked for were only for the good and benefits of his wife and children. Allah knows how much I love him and Allah knows how much I miss him.
Sir, I would like to give ‘Sadaqah’ (give to the poor/needy), and the rewards (from Allah), I would like to give to my late father, is it all right? Can my late father still receive the rewards for good deeds being done by his children who are still alive?
Why can’t I dream of my father? I really would like to see him at least in my dreams.
A sister from Malaysia
Reply
I can only offer you my heartfelt condolences at the sad demise of your beloved father. May the Almighty forgive his mistakes and reward him for all the good that he did during the time that he was allowed to live and be a source of happiness for all those who loved him.
My dear sister, it is quite clear from the Qur’an that a person is only rewarded and punished for his own deeds or such other deeds, which emanate from his own deeds. The Qur’an says:
“It [i.e. each soul] shall be rewarded for what it earned and shall be held responsible for what it did.” (Al-Baqarah 2: 286)
Explaining this concept of reward and punishment further, the Prophet (pbuh) is reported to have said that the record of a person’s good and bad deeds is closed at the time of his death, except for three things for which his account is continued to be credited even after his death. The first among these three things is any such action of the deceased, which continues to benefit humanity even after his death; the second is any such contribution to knowledge by the deceased, which continues to benefit humanity even after his death; and the third is such offspring of the deceased, which lives a pious life because of the good training it received from the deceased and prays for the salvation of the deceased.
If you look closely at the three things that continue to be credited to the deceased’s account even after his death, you shall see that they are all actually – directly or indirectly – the deceased’s own actions, and therefore it would only be fair that the deceased be rewarded for them.
Keeping the above explanation in mind, it should be very encouraging that whenever we do a good deed, which we learnt from someone, the reward for such good deed is not just restricted to ourselves but the person who taught us the good deed is also rewarded. For example, if your father taught you to say your prayers, then every time you offer your prayers, the reward of these prayers shall not only be credited to your account but to the account of your late father as well. The same would be the case of all good deeds that he taught, prompted or encouraged you to undertake. I would therefore suggest that you try to do all the good deeds that you learnt from your late father and rest assured that every time you do these deeds, your father is also rewarded for his contributions in teaching you the good deed.
Another important thing that you should do is to find out if your father owed anything to anyone. If that be the case, you must try to relieve your father’s soul from all kinds of liabilities. For example, if your father owed some money to someone or had pledged to undertake Umrah or Hajj, you should try to repay the loan or undertake the pledged Umrah or Hajj on behalf of your father.
Besides this, another valuable gift from you to your father can be your prayers and supplications for his forgiveness, salvation and reward.
My dear sister, our God is most merciful and gracious. He accepts our sincere supplications and listens to our calls, every time we turn to Him. He does not ignore our calls; it is actually we who turn away from Him and ignore His calls for submission.
You write:
“Why can’t I dream of my father? I really would like to see him at least in my dreams.”
I am extremely sorry that I cannot help you in this problem. I do not have any idea of how to control or program our dreams.
However, I would like to share with you a small story that I read somewhere:
It is said that once a man took his only son on a journey with him. It was a long and tiresome journey. After the man finished his business in the far off places, the father and the son started on their way back home. The journey was so long that they had to make four overnight stopovers on their way back. Everything was going fine until the last night of the journey. The man woke up in the middle of the night, to get a drink; the thought that he would spend the next night in the comfort of his own home was pleasing for his tired mind, when suddenly he realized that the bed, which was occupied by his son, was vacant. His son was missing. He could not find his son anywhere. He looked everywhere, tried every source but all to no avail. The son was nowhere to be found. He knocked on every door of the town; woke every sleeping soul, but there was no sign of the son anywhere. It seemed that the man’s world had fallen apart. He cried. He wept. But all to no avail. By then, the night was making way for the sun. But the light of the man’s life seemed to have vanished completely. Suddenly, he saw a familiar face. He saw one of his servants riding towards him. When the servant came close to him, he delighted him by the news that his son had reached home. The man was so relieved with the news that he slept through the day and delayed his journey back home for another day. Yes, he was relieved. What he had written off as having become extinct, moments ago, was once again within the reach of his hands.
Now, it was only time that separated him and his son.
My dear sister, for a believing Muslim, death is not extinction. Your father has reached home. In time, we shall all be home.
I hope this helps
UIUK team
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