Question
Is it mandatory for a husband to seek permission from his first wife before marrying another woman?
Reply
Even though the Qur’an has not made the permission of the first wife a mandatory condition for a second marriage but keeping in view the directives of Quran and hadith in which Allah and Allah’s Rasul(pbuh)have directed muslims to act wisely and kindly in all affairs of life specially in their interaction with wives, it is more in keeping with the gentleness which Islam preaches to seek permission from the first if one has made up his mind to have a second wife anyway.
It cannot be denied that polygamy was an accepted norm of the Arab society. Wives, under normal circumstances, would not have any objections to their husband’s taking another wife. In fact, there is evidence to suggest that the number of wives was considered to be an indication of a person’s high social standing. Thus, a woman would normally see the increased number of her husband’s wives with pride, even if it meant sharing the love of her husband with other women as well as entering into competition with other women in becoming the favourite wife. However, it cannot be ignored that over the centuries, a tremendous change has taken place in the social attitudes toward second marriage even in the muslim societies.The existing wife of a person no matter how good she is reacts to the idea extremely negatively. That, which at the time of the revelation of the Qur’an was looked upon with pride, is now generally seen with disgust. That, which could safely be presumed as acceptable, is now likely to fire endless feuds and to completely ruin the the peace of one’s household. In view of this considerable change in the social (as well as domestic) acceptability of second marriage, it would only seem prudent that a person should not even consider a second marriage, unless he is certain that his decision shall meet acceptance of his existing wife and children.
A second marriage, which risks the foundations of the existing family is not approved by Islam. It, however, deserves to be added here that there have been a number of negative social implications of the general attitude of aversion toward taking a second wife, (especially for the widows and the divorced women in the society). Nevertheless, the fact remains that such a change has actually taken place. In view of this fact, it seems reasonable to add that while giving permission for a second marriage (as suggested in the reply) the court of law should primarily judge whether such a marriage would meet the approval and acceptance of the existing household of the concerned person or not. If the court feels that such a marriage would not be accepted by the existing wife and children of the person and may ultimately result in the undoing of the existing family, it may then try to dissuade the person from such a marriage.
Allah knows the best
UIUK Team
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